Monday, October 20, 2014

Taboos and stupid ancient beliefs

So the baby is now two weeks old and he has a cold. He's a bit stuffy and in turn is finding it harder to sleep. Like I wasn't sleep deprived already! Having another new born has reminded me of all the taboos that are to do with this and that and for me, its a tad bit annoying because I would rather follow the midwife and doctor's advice over the folk beliefs and remedies and frankly, I don't give a hoot's care if that was how all hundred of someone's kids were treated and raised. The fofo and what not is all trial and error compared to doctors who have studied and tested knowledge and methods and have been deemed safe and effective! So some examples that have had me banging my head against the door are:

1. Dont leave the baby's clothes on the line outside overnight. Bring them in and have them stink in the corner because if you leave them out overnight, bad spirits will be in the clothes

2. Put coconut oil on the belly button six times a day to help it heal because "this was what I did to all my kids and they survived fine"

3. No bathing of the baby until the belly button is completely healed. Nevermind there is gunk under the arms and neck of the baby and he probably is dying for a nice wash.

4. Mum should just stay indoors and not go outside especially at nights because the bad spirits come out at night

5. Dont let the baby cry at night because that will attract the bad spirits into the baby. If crying is unavoidable, turn on some church music very loud to drown out the baby's wailing.

6. Dont put the baby's clothes in full son because that is how they get mumu (or otherwise known as heat rash)

7. Always cover the mirrors at night - I didn't catch the reason for this one because frankly, I did not care at this point to hear another stupid bad spirit story.

I mean seriously, these people go to church and claim their beliefs and faith in God and Christ and yet, there is also this firm belief that the spirits will harm them and their new born babies. Where is their faith? Where is the belief that when there is faith, there needn't be fear? That there is protection guaranteed when you do the right thing?

Onto other things, three posts in three days! Im on a roll!

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Challenges vs Hope

I reconnected yesterday on Facebook with the missionary that baptised me in 2011. He had gotten married six months ago and is planning a trip with his wife to Samoa next year. Connecting with Elder Smithing got me thinking about my life pre-joing the Church and just how thankful I am that I have changed for the better. Since coming back to this blog, I have been reading some of the things I wrote…and its obvious that before 2011, my life seemed pretty gloomy even from the blogs. Its nice to have light and something that offers comfort when life take a turn south.

Lets be straight though, its not like challenges do not exist for me now. I mean I struggle everyday to control my anger and not lash out with not only damaging words to my children but with the intention to inflict pain upon them. I have a real issue with hitting my children. I just cant seem to stop. Its bad enough that one of Vaetoefaga's first words is "sasa." I hear the things my oldest son says to his brother and I see a reflection of myself and what I say to him. Maaveave is terrible to his younger brother. And in turn, how he gets treated is how Afele then treats his sister and no doubt, Vaetoefaga is going to continue the cycle to David. And where did it all start? From me, my parents and their parents and who knows how far back the problem goes. So, I am trying to put a stop to the vicious cycle and its dang hard.

Then there are my dramas with my old man. No wonder they say you receive blessings from caring for your elderly because you learn to be patient, hold your tongue, appreciate things like driving away in your car, far away from your house and did I mention to learn to be patient? Is it in every parents' manual that they need have to interfere in their children's lives even when they are adults and have brains to figure things out themselves?

So I guess my point is, although I still have many a challenge, its somehow manageable knowing that there is hope at the end of the tunnel and that if I just did the basics, we will be blessed and there will always be a tomorrow where we can try again because all that is required of us is our best.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

long long time

Oka, the cobwebs are so thick in here…so many years no update and no, there isn't an excuse. Just kids, work, lack of internet connection and life in general got in the way. And now am finding myself with unlimited and FAST internet connection and the need to rant - the two ingredients to a long awaited post.

So where are we? Well the biggest news as of now is this:

Baby number four and number last just made an appearance almost two weeks ago at 6.48am Friday 3rd October. We named him David Charlie after two of John's most helpful and reliable relatives. He came at 38 weeks 4 days - the day before his Dad and older brothers were due to arrive from Samoa. And like all new borns, he is perfection at its best that has given me long hours of no sleep, dirty diapers and sore nipples but ironically, it all seems worth it when he coos and seems to enjoy it when I cuddle him.

So when we went to have my scan and found we were having a boy (we have boy, boy, girl now) hubby looked at me and reminded me that we had a "deal" that if this baby were a boy, we had to try again for a girl so Vaetoefaga could have a sister….after months of spewing and being uselessly useless, I looked at hubby and said, "Good laaaack with that because this is the last baby coming out of this vajayjay!" He tried for weeks thereafter to convince me but nah, sorry mate but this factory is CALLOSED!

So we are currently in Auckland living with the inlaws until baby's passport etc are sorted. Truth be told, I am in no rush to go home however, the two older boys are being attacked by fleas and this alone has fuelled my desire to go home earlier than expected. Also, I miss my plants. And the help. And my car. Okay, maybe I miss home more than I think but right now, am trying to enjoy what NZ has to offer particularly the internet. Did I mention that it is unlimited? And FAST?