Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The Story of My Friend

The curser is continuously blinking as if to beckon words that would mould together and form thoughts. In strings of sentences, thoughts might just appeal to someone. There is a lot of words and the well of thoughts is never dry. But it is the appeal that I worry about. Depending on the reader’s tastes, expectation and experience, so would be the appeal of my thoughts to them. And the other part depends also on the writer and how the words and thoughts are organised. How do you raise an issue and ensure that the readers fully gauge the writer’s feelings? It can simply be stated and the issue will be known, but how do the feelings come through?

I’ve got a story to tell. I thought it was a story worth telling. The story goes like this…

I’ve been trusted with a friend’s secret; one that I can’t tell anyone, obviously. However, the matter of the fact is that the “secret” has raised warning bells within me on the oh! so famous issue of infidelity and the hell it heaves. And of course being the newly married young couple that John and I are, I sit and wonder, in light of this secret, about how if by any chance God forbid I was to find myself in my friend’s shoes.

To cut a long story short, my friend found his wife was having an affair with another man while he was overseas on business. He was told by another friend who also told him that most of their other friends knew about it. It seemed that all knew about the affair except him.

My friend has two children to his cheating wife. A fourteen-year-old girl and an eleven-year-old son. He is quite close to his daughter and thinks the world of her. He’s always talking about her. A month after my friend discovered the affair, his daughter was rushed to hospital. She had overdosed on panadol.

He later found that the poor girl had guessed out her mother’s affair. The mother was decent enough to be banging the husband of the woman that employed her daughter. The daughter found herself in a tight situation where she was unable to tell her father (or rather did not know how to) nor her employer. She withdrew into her room where she listened to music that spoke her reality and the relief of suicide. Finally, one day, the weight of it all was too hard to carry that she sat there downing panadols, hoping she’d never wake up again. She did wake up again and routinely prepared for school and caught the school bus that morning. A few minutes later, she’s rushed off to hospital vomiting. My friend heard that morning what every father hopes never to hear. That his daughter had overdosed.

So I’m listening as my poor friend pours his heart out. I’m a bit unsure of what to say and do as this friend ain’t exactly a life-long, personal friend, if you know what I mean. So I say I was sorry, wish him the best of luck in sorting it out, and dart out the room. The whole time after that I was thinking what in the world I’d do if that was me????

He said he never saw it coming. I firmly believe though that you will see an affair coming from afar. There are certain signs, right? Right? Maybe my friend never saw it coming because he was away half the time! That has to be it. Maybe the trust was given too freely. Maybe he was just somehow blinded. Maybe she was bored. Maybe she's just a cheating beeyatch...

Its a whole bunch of maybes.

But I cant help wondering at my own marriage. Would my husband cheat on me? Would I cheat on him? What makes someone have an affair? Would I be able to see something like this coming? See it before I start hearing things in this small island of course!

Well, whatever happens, if I ever found my husband having an affair, I hope and pray to God that He gives me the strength to hold back from stabbing or boiling the bastard to death!


Dok said...

hey rees.
that is a dreadful bombshell to be dropped on ya. gosh, i cant imagine what this poor soul is going thru, not just with his wife but his kids. its hard to know what to say in these situations. I come across them a bit in you know, the work, and you dont always have other support services around like councellors etc etc. I always try to show some sympathy but also empower people to feel like they can make it out of the hole they are in. To believe in themselves and think about the things that matter and the things they can do. I mean, he may never forgive his wife and maybe thats a no brainer, but i guess he needs to be strong for his kids. And try to pull thru the greiving period intending to get at least a good outcome in the end.
Its really sad when you hear about these things, cos it always makes you look at yourself and wonder, if it could eva happen to you, and if so would you see it coming. Unlike you, i too often have heard or seen people in the situation that they had absolutely no idea. there arent always signs...anyways, i guess these stories remind us to look after our own relationships and families, cos who knows why these things happen.- hope you friend pulls thru- take care- me!

reesa said...

Hi dok.

Yeah...I feel sorry for the poor dude. But he did mention that he's sought councilling and it has helped him and his daughter heaps. Especially on how to deal with the anger. I suppose he is healing and part of that process is to talk about it...lucky me, huh? Believe it or not, it came up after I said I was sick of being fat and was gonna actively try to loose weight! He told me how he lost weight....hmmm? He wasnt recommending his approach for me though!

But I really didnt mind being an ear for someone in trouble especially of that magnitude. I just hope I said the right things.

It really was an eye-opener for me though.

fotu of samoa said...

Man, that's such a sad story... Poor dude and poor kids!

I pray that things are on the up and up for them. And of course, touch wood, none of us ever have to go through such an ordeal.

Great update Rees! Bout damn time. Hehe.


dasifi said...

If I was the sister of that dude I would take my brother & his kids if they wanted away so that they cant start over somewhere new in an a happier environment.
If I was the sister of that cheating biatch I would beat the crap out of her & show her the damage she has done to her family.
Take care and lets pray we will never have to endure something like that.

Dylan said...

Man that story is really sad. I feel bad for your friend but also for his daughter as well. The thought of keeping THAT kind of secret from two people that she respects and loves has got to be hard on a young girl of only 14.

What an evil whore of a mother who wouldn't think about the consequences of her actions before going through with them, especially when she's got two young impressionable kids to think about. What a selfish biznitch.

There's a lot of risk in marriage, but sweetie, don't let the problems of another marriage reek problems in your own with it when the time comes, but don't wait for it to happen because then you won't be able to truly enjoy what you have with your husband now.

Be strong sweetie and I hope and pray that everything works out for your friend.